Realities Of Having Twins

Everything you read about raising twins will tell you the same thing, how hard it is. As a mother of two sets of twins I can honestly tell you it is more than hard work but putting the challenges and the difficulties aside, I love being a mother of twins! Its enormous fun!

You may be overwhelmed at first but you will soon learn to adapt and enjoy your new role as a twin parent.

The first thing I would say about raising twins is to be prepared for a period of very little sleep. Its quite simple, newborn twins bring sleep deprivation to their parents. This is probably the most common complaint from twin mums. It doesn't last forever and you will get through it.

Coping with the demands of one newborn baby is hard enough but two newborn babies can send any normal household into a state of chaos. At first it will seem like life is one long feed with very little sleep, rest or time to do anything else in between.

I would advise that you take any offers of help during the first few months. If family and friends want to help but don't know how to then be bold and tell them what they could do to assist you. Taking the babies for a walk so you can take a nap, preparing the dinner or even just being there with a spare pair of hands during feeding or bath time can be an enormous help.

The thing with twins is this; you have to find practical and creative ways for one pair of hands to be enough to manage them. Even when your partner is at home to help and not at work you will discover that two pairs of hands still doesn't allow for a break. If your partner takes over to give you a rest they too have to manage with one pair of hands.

You have to adapt all the practical tasks to cope with the care of baby twins. These are some of the common questions surrounding the practical side of raising twins:-

How can I feed two babies at the same time?

How do I bath two babies at the same time?

How do I get up and down the stairs with two babies at the same time?

How do I comfort two babies at the same time?

The answer is creatively!

Getting out of the house with twins is another challenge and it's important to have the right kind of twin pushchair. It will take longer than usual to get out of the front door remembering everything you need and even in and out of car seats takes longer, so think carefully about your options before you make your purchases.

As twins get older and start to crawl and move about you will need to create a couple of "twin safe" areas where you can leave them to play whilst you nip to the toilet or pop to the kitchen to prepare food. It's easy to scoop one baby up and take them with you but it's not so easy scooping two up. I would recommend putting up safety gates as soon as they are crawling.

Aside of the practicalities of raising twins there are the emotional issues you may experience as a twin mother. Feelings of inadequacy and guilt can often set in when you face the challenges of juggling their care. You may experience feelings of frustration because it is so difficult to split yourself in two and may be annoyed that you need to ask for help and support from family and friends. Twins are hard work and you should not think that you should be able to cope alone. It does get easier and even this statement from a twin mother who is out of the difficult phase may annoy you when you are in the thick of the hard times.

Hard work and challenges aside, raising twins is never dull. It's a fascinating time watching two babies of exactly the same age grow and develop. You get to see two different personalities unfold and how they react to everything new. It is lovely to see them interacting with one another. By the time they are toddlers you will be dealing with squabbles and fights and issues over sharing as well as the times when they are playing perfectly with one another.

When you become a parent of twins you join a special club whereby complete strangers will stop you on the street to talk. Twins are fascinating to most people and you can expect many a stranger to stop to admire your babies. You will get used to questions and statements such as "Are they identical?", "Are they good?", "How do you manage?" and "Double Trouble" and "Buy One Get one Free!"

This brings me to the next issue with raising twins, finances. You may be worried about how you will cope financially. It's not just the baby items that are costly with twins it's the time constraints they bring too. Caring for baby and toddler twins leaves little time for anything else including work. If both parents need to work and you have to organise child care this is going to be very costly. Even if only one parent has to work there is pressure on the working parent to spend more and more time at home to assist with their care especially if the twins arrive prematurely or have feeding difficulties.

Other issues with raising twins include dividing your attention, ensuring you and everyone else treats them as individuals and not as one half of a pair. As they get to school age you may need to think about separating them if they are reliant upon one another. You may need to find ways of encouraging them to play alone or without one another and help them to make friends of their own. As twins they will share a special bond due to the amount of time spent together from the very beginning, however, it is important that they find their own way in life.

Most importantly, enjoy having your twins because before you know it they will have flown the nest.

I am a mother of two sets of twins both fraternal and identical. I have created a website to assist others during their twin pregnancies and afterwards. http://twinstips.com

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